12 Skills for Effective Conflict Resolution Every Leader Should Master.

Conflict results from differences in needs, values, and motives. Sometimes through these differences we complement each other, but sometimes we oppose each other. Conflict is not a problem in itself but it is what we do with it that counts.

Conflict resolution skills enable us to bypass personal differences and be open to possibilities. These skills draw us closer to other people, as we jointly search for fair solutions and balanced needs. It involves a huge relationship shift from adversaries to co-operative partners, and in this shift each person benefits.

Here are 12 skills for effective conflict resolution every leader should master:

1. The Win-Win Approach.

The win-win approach is about changing the conflict from attack and defence to co-operation. It alters the direction of communication.

2. The Creative Response.

The creative response to conflict is seeing problems as possibilities. Deciding to see what can be done, rather than how terrible it all is, choosing to extract the best from the situation.

3. Empathy.

Empathy is about building rapport, openness, and trust between people. When it is absent, people are less likely to consider your needs and feelings.

4. Appropriate Assertiveness.

Appropriate assertiveness is being able to state your case without arousing the defences of the other person. It works when you say how it is for you rather than what they should or shouldn’t do.

5. Co-operative Power.

Power underlies most conflicts, dictating outcomes. For positive, constructive, and inclusive outcomes, we must take account of how power is operating.

6. Managing Emotions.

People’s behaviour can be distressing yet has a legitimate purpose. They are looking for ways to belong, feel significant, and self-protect.

7. Willingness to Resolve.

Look closely at yourself and recognise that others will always be different to you. Choose to respond in ways that seems more appropriate to the actual situation than the movie playing inside your head.

8. Mapping the Conflict.

Define briefly the issue, the area of the problem, or conflict in neutral terms that all stakeholders would agree on and that doesn’t invite a “yes/no” answer.

9. Development of Options.

Breaking the problem into smaller parts, researching more information, extent of resources and constraints. Set goals to determine what is the outcome we want?

10. Negotiation Skills.

– Be hard on the problem and soft on the person.

– Focus on needs, not positions.

– Emphasise common ground.

– Be inventive about options.

– Make clear agreements.

11. Third Party Mediation.

Mediation is the practise of neutral, third party assisted negotiation. Judging and taking sides will make you part of the problem. This is not mediating.

12. Broadening Perspectives.

When you take this overview of the problem you are less caught up in it, more observant. This wider view includes increased self-awareness, respect, and value differences.